These are my confessions

I can't wait to get these off my chest, so here goes...

1. I always have something stuck in my head. A verse, a tune, a rhyme. Lately it's, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." For no good reason other than I'm like five? 

2. You know when you're at work and you get an email that you dread reading? You're skimming through it and just seconds after finishing you get a phone call from the same person who just sent the email. And imagine that! They're calling to talk to you about their email! Ugh, what gives? Like could you just calm down and wait for my reply? KThanksBye.

3. I feel like I'm about as lucky as a hang nail. That doesn't really make much sense but if you knew how unlucky I am it sort of does. However, in mid-January, while painting an iridescent snowflake at Saratoga Paint & Sip with my mom and Shen, my brother's girlfriend, I won a free seat at another one of their classes! I am super excited and I already signed up for the next one. I can't wait to see how terrible creative it turns out.

I totally stole all of Shen's ideas in my painting - but copying is the best form of flattery, right?

4. I feel like I have the best and worst address ever. It's really easy to visualize it, but when I rattle it off, every single person who listens doesn't understand. That and because I live across the street from a post office. It never fails that on the day I just want to park in front of my house, the post office is crazy busy. And instead of customers just parking in the freaking parking lot, they park on the street in front of my house. I want to slash each and every one of their tires. Especially those of folks who park directly in front the steps. Really?! You couldn't just back the frig up?

Sometimes I try to wait out the person so that I can yell at them to use the parking lot, but Ryan is always quick to shoo me inside. Probably for my own good.

5. To top it off, I am a customer service rep's worst nightmare. I am that person. The one who raises their voice. The one who may drop the "eff" bomb. That person who is impatient, demanding, and otherwise a pain in your ass. I feel sorry for anyone who I get on the other line. But I have to say, I get shit done. 

Most recently, UPS tried to declare my house a business that's not open on public holidays. I called, bitched, was asked when I would like to pick up my package, and then asked to wait for a call back from a local branch. When I did get that call back, after a brief discussion the very nice woman  who called informed me that the driver thought my address was the post office, you know the one that's across the street, but that my package would be delivered that night and apologized for the delay.

It was totally worth being a pain for what came in the package though.

I feel so much better now! Tell me you understand. Tell me I'm not crazy. Please? What's got you murderous wanting to confess this month?

These are my confessions

Let's get right to the thick of things.

1. Just about my favorite part of the whole movie theater experience are the previews. I get more and more excited as each new one plays. It's weird.

2. I thought Taylor Swift was singing about "Starbucks lovers" rather than a "long list of ex-lovers."

3. I think I'm lactose intolerant and I'm going to deny it hardcore. That smoothie I mentioned? Two hours later my stomach felt like a geyser ready to burst. Now that I think of it, that sounds gross. But it wasn't like that! I promise. It was just all this gargling. Today, I had cereal for breakfast and two hours later the same thing happened. Seriously though, I can't be. I will live with the terrible uncomfortableness for hours in order to eat and drink dairy. Let's see if I can go three for three tomorrow!

4. You know how some people are really great with movie quotes? I'm really great with Disney quotes. Like I can repeat the whole Lion King movie verbatim. I'll often say quotes from the movie under my breath in conversations. It may come off as crazy but eh, my friends love me.

5. Growing up, I taught myself how to use the Microsoft Office Suite. I spent hours just dicking around on it. It came in super handy at college and I'm like the Excel guru at the office. That's pretty cool, but I think about all the time I wasted invested. It feels kinda cool though when everyone comes to you with questions. It just sucks when you have eleven million things to do.

I feel like I was a little too "I'm wicked awesome!" in that last one. So tell me. What do you rock at? Anything you wanna confess to?

These are my confessions

Confessions...ahhh, so good for the soul. Here goes.

1. Pencil thin eyebrows. What gives? I don't see how it's preferable. I mean one wrong move and BOOM you're missing part of your eyebrow. Maybe you can explain it?

2. A lady bug landed on my husband's manly bits after he got out of bed one morning, and we sleep in our birthday suits, then proceeded to smack it off. Only hilarity ensued.

3. I sometimes comb Ryan's back hair. Why? Because it's funny that he has some to comb and because it bothers him. Pure enjoyment. Pure love.

4. I quit Facebook yesterday and I couldn't be happier. I was asked if instagram or pinterest were next. There may have been a *hint* of sarcasm in my reply.

5. We've already exchanged Christmas gifts. Mainly because I'm terrible with secrets and I get so excited that I just want to share. I mean why make them wait if they know what they got and it's the thought that counts?! I bought Rye a GPS watch with a triathlon bundle that can track you in the water, on the bike, and out for a run. He bought me a digital SLR camera that I've already got good use out of. I'm no where near a professional but at least I'm not using auto. 

What are some of your confessions? Do you have a holiday one?

These are my confessions

"...just when I thought I said all I can say." Yes? No? Okay, anyway. Behind this blog is someone super real and super normal just like the rest of you. Here's five random things that make me human, because five seems to be my number.

1. I once hole punched my hand. Very true story. I needed to hammer something into my dorm room wall and I thought, "what do I have that's heavy?" Well of course, the only thing I had was a three-hole punch. Clearly, it ended badly.

2. I lick my ice cream bowl clean. Yes, my face is then covered in meam (what I called it when I was three) but it's better on your face than left in the bowl, am-I-right?

3. I have the shyest bladder, ever. Unless it's Ryan (or complete strangers) I can't go with someone else in the bathroom. It's a struggle. I was a total creeper in the bathroom today, having to wait for two people to finish and leave before I could go. And I  was bursting, I had to go so bad. One day I'll end up with a bladder infection, I'm sure.

4. On another note, Ryan and I have no boundaries. We held a conversation earlier while he was on the toilet and I was leaning against the sink looking at him. Whatever. 

5. Last Friday, as I was walking out, my earring was ensnared by my scarf while my arms were filled with bags. I was so tired, that as my second level manager was untangling it, I was laughing uncontrollably. It was just the whip cream on top of that week. The cherry? My coworker has the last few seconds before my earring was freed on video. Kinda like this picture he took of me today. The jerk.

Yes, those are puppies on the blanket and I was indeed cold.

All I can say is, I'm glad it's Friday. It's been a long week. How was yours?