I read these with an open mind, honestly looking to improve my relationship (which isn't hurting in the least). Nearly all of them have a biblical verse with them - which I did not read - but I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions on them. After I'll share my plan for a "Husband Appreciation Week" (or "HAW") where I'll try to be better for him. Because the list is long (and I'm verbose) I'll be splitting this up into three posts. Here goes:
1. Choose Joy - Seems easy. I know I can be bitchy at times (probably most times) but I think I can work on this and be a happier (not seemingly medicated) person.
2. Honor His Wishes - I think I do pretty well with this. Sometimes I forget things Rye asks but on big things I listen. For the most part I think I'm good with this. (Some of the examples I didn't particularly care for though...)
3. Give Him Your Undivided Attention - THIS I need to work on. Even while writing this post Ryan was talking about some math tidbit he wanted to share and I said "what?" at least twice.
4. Don't Interrupt - In heated debate, this is a little hard. In general, I shut up and listen until there's a pause or something important I want to share. I enjoy the rhythm of our conversation and I don't think this needs much attention.
5. Emphasize His Good Points - One of the things I probably complain most about is how Ryan doesn't have a job (or an sort of income). There are so many things I admire about him though; he's incredibly smart, kind, and my kind of handsome. This will be incorporated into "Husband Appreciation Week."
6. Pray for Him - I consider myself a Christian person, but I don't talk to God every day or even every week. When I do pray I pray for strength and comfort when I need it most. If I told my husband I was praying for him (which I'm not sure is the point) I think he would ask "Why?" and "Are you serious?" I'm not sure how this communicates respect - feel free to shed some light on it.
7. Don't Nag - My husband has the memory of a goldfish (please note that "HAW" has not started and show I'm not incorporating number 5 into my daily life just yet). An example from tonight: he offered to finish the dishes, which means wiping down counters, stove, and the table, while I finished cleaning the bathroom. I agreed and finished cleaning the toilet, shower, and sink. He was already back in the den seemingly done with his task. Dishes? Done. Counters? Tons of crumbs. Table? Not wiped. Stove? Speckled from our messy dinner. By the time he came up to do it, after I had asked if they got done, everything was wiped, clean, and sparkly. I chose my battle and tonight was not worth it. I do nag him about the garbage, his dirty clothes, putting away his things, etc. "HAW" will have 0% nagging. Might take some working up to.
8. Be Thankful - Please and thank you are common words in our house. We appreciate the things we do for one another. I think I'm okay with this one.
9. Smile at Him - It's hard to look at Ryan and not smile. Especially with his hair longer like it is right now and when he does things like this:
10. Respond Physically - This means ALL THE TIME, not just when you're in the mood too. Now, I've heard this before...from Michelle Duggar who said that by resisting your husband's physical affection (kiss, hug, or sex) you're destroying his manliness. No wonder she's got 20 kids. Maybe this is a Christian thing that I missed out on growing up (or perhaps it was supposed to be during the pre-wedding marriage counseling we didn't take). I'm sorry, I love Ryan and I love how we are together, but if I'm feeling like shit (and sex isn't going to help) it's not happening. I'll never turn down a kiss or hug, I love those and I enjoy sex too, but sometimes I'm just not feeling it. Maybe Michelle Duggar can put on a really good show every night but as for me? I'll keep it to when we're both in the mood and knock it out of the park.
That's ten down, with fifteen to go. Here's a tally on how I'm doing.
4 I need to work on (to be incorporated into "HAW")
4 Already I'm doing (feel confident I do these daily(
2 Are a little ridiculous (and most likely won't be incorporated into "HAW")
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